Little B has been having trouble coping with an unwell mummy in the last few weeks. I cant run around like I used to and play soccer or chasey. I also cant lift him anymore (nor can I lift and drain a saucepan over a sink but I digress). Also the move to Granny B’s has disoriented him slightly.
This has resulted in one very unsure little boy. Little B wants his mama all the time and never wants her out of sight. He also needs a lot more physical affection and reassurance. In the most literal sense, “hand holding” or “lap sitting”.
We are an affectionate family, so this poses little problems. He is the recipient of muchos kisses, cuddles, wrestles, hand holding most of the time anyways. So to give more is no hardship :-) And since we follow attachment parenting ideas, a lap sitter or shower sharer is nothing new.
But Little B has also taken to waking up to 5 times a night. He needs mummy to hold his hand and just check she is there. So we decided to embrace the family bed. We moved 2 single beds together to make a king and we haven’t looked back.
Little B is waking less and when he does we are just there. Plus it’s nice to just roll over and give him a pat or hold his hands, rather than hauling my butt out of bed to another room. Or like last night, he sought me out during the night and slept cocooned in my arms.
I’m sure there are people who would pass judgement on this. An older relative told me to put a lock on his door and leave him to it. In contrast, a mother at kindy told she has 5 children and they all sleep in the same bedroom as her and her husband.
I’m a big believer in being there for our children when they need us. I also like the closeness of our family and Little B is also showing signs of being calmer, happier and more confident during the day time. He also loves telling people about our “bunk beds” LOL.
Obviously I wont be sick forever nor will we have a family bed forever. But I’ll keep doing whatever it takes for my little boy to be confident and happy. Like the mum at kindy I want to be open and honest about attachment parenting and our family bed. And also let people know it's normal for a child of any age to wake during the night to seek comfort. And that it's ok to comfort that child in any way that feels right to you and your family.